Emma and I painted our toes pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I have not explained too much about my cancer scare in fear I would scare her. She knows I have a little scar on my right breast from a small surgery and Mommy is fine.
In my early 20's, newly married and still in college, I found a lump in my right breast. The only reason I found it was because it was sore. I went to my doctor who in turn sent me to a specialist. I saw the doctor who then tried to insert a gigantic needle into my breast to get fluid out. However no fluid came out. I could tell by his look, it was not good. He just told me it was okay but he would need to remove the mass. What? Luckily my Mom was there and we both looked at each other in shock. I started balling and he told me not to worry at my age and with no history of breast cancer that it could be just a mass.
So the following week, I went to Riverside with Erik and my Mom. I was awake but numb. I saw nothing, thank goodness. He removed the mass and on the spot told me that he believed it was not cancer but would have it tested to verify. The sense of relief was overwhelming. I started crying and he kept telling me it was okay and I am going to be fine.
I thank God for that moment. It was agonizing wondering each day, do I have cancer? I just got married, I do not have any babies, I still have to finish college...I am not ready to face this. So many women and men face this each day. It is not fair and not right. I really hate cancer. It took away so many of my family and friends. Why do we not have a cure?
I am reminded daily when I see that tiny scare on my breast that I was given another day. I admit, sometimes I forget how precious life can be. My family reminds me of that each and everyday.
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